Have you ever felt alone in doing something scary or impossible? The first time we felt that fear may be the same. Do you remember the first time you got on a bike with no training wheels? I do.
We lived 8 miles down a dirt and gravel road, not a patch of smooth pavement in sight. No easy roads to learn to ride on, but that didn’t matter because I didn’t even own a bike. The one bike my brothers shared had tires filled with goat heads.
I wish I could say I desperately wanted a big girl bike, but I was completely fine with my Powder Puff Big Wheel. I had seen my brothers crash on their bike and for some reason that didn’t appeal to me. But sometimes you get the very thing you never wished for.
I was the envy of all my brothers and every friend when my name was drawn as the winner of a brand new BMX trick bike. I didn’t even know my mom had entered all of us in a drawing sponsored by Fox Kids Club. I was the lucky one who had their name announced during a commercial right in the middle of Saturday morning cartoons!
I was 6 years old when I got dressed up for the exciting day I was awarded with my new bike. I stared at the bike in the back of our station wagon the entire drive home.
To my brothers’ disappoint they were told they weren’t allowed to ride my bike. You would have thought I was told the same thing because I leaned it gingerly against a tree and walked in the house with no intention of ever crashing and burning on that thing.
Everyday my brothers would urge me to ride it. Everyday I would sit on the seat and put one foot on the pedal. I’d lift my other foot and start to tip over. That’s about as far as I got.
It was during this repeated action that my brother convinced me he could teach me to ride my bike in one hour if I would trust him. Never trust your older brother. Well, there is one brother you can always trust but we’ll talk about that later.
The road in front of my house was flat, but just past that was a small downward run. My brother held my seat to help me balance a few times and get a feel for things. Then without warning and with my screams of protest he told me to really learn I had to ride down the hill. The bike was moving and I couldn’t figure out how to jump off without hurting myself.
My brother gave me a good push and sent me sailing down that gravel hill. Miraculously I balanced, but I didn’t steer. I ended up in the ditch with what felt like half the road imbedded in my leg. I didn’t get on a bike again for another year, and that time you better believe I didn’t let anyone “help” me.
Does God abandon us?
We’ve all likely faced things more painful than falling on a bike. It was in a moment of feeling like I was figuratively on the ground covered in scrapes and blood, tears running down my face that I begged for some sort of answer as to why God had abandoned me.
Why wasn’t the Lord helping me? I keep falling. Is He just standing there watching? Why do I feel His strength and then all the sudden it seems He has let go and sent me down a hill where the only possible result is me crashing and burning? I was confused and angry.
My mind went back to that day on my bike. Then a different image came into my mind. One of a loving big brother who knows and loves me perfectly.
Maybe He is helping you more than you realize.
The first few times He stands at the back of the bike helping you to balance. It makes you feel safe but starting is always the hardest part. Staying confident after you’ve started is the second hardest part.
He lets go a couple times but runs along beside you to grab on before you can fall. He knows something you don’t though. You may have to fall in order to learn.
When He lets go you trust you can do it for a moment. Then you realize you are balancing on your own. You freak out, question yourself, then crash and burn.
You didn’t realize you weren’t really all on your own. He was still there watching, giving encouragement, ready to respond. You want Him to hold on and never let go so you never have to crash again, but then again, you don’t.
Even though He may not be standing right next to you, holding on to that bike seat His power is there because He believes in you and wants you to learn to soar. He knows you can’t soar if He is always holding on to the bike seat.
You want to balance on your own so you can zoom forward, wind blowing on your face, feeling the joy of accomplishment. As you do, the Lord is filled with pride for you and cheers you on.
You finally trust in all the times He told you that you could do it! You trust in all the instruction and you follow it until it becomes so natural you don’t even have to think about it. Just “like riding a bike.”
You are finally doing it on your own but not really. The Lord is the one who taught you, who stayed right next to you to “bind the wounds” when you fell. Who encouraged you to get back up and try again. Who promised He would keep helping until you learned.
That strength will always be with you, it will be the reason you can move forward with faith and confidence and continue to progress in anything you face. Every weakness and trial that seems never ending.
Where you have it wrong.
Are you not even letting Him hold the bike seat as you try to balance? Do you just want to do it all on your own?
Did you have such a terrible crash that you NEVER want to get back on the bike again? Do you believe you simply will never be able to ride a bike? How long will you put it off and deprive yourself of what you truly desire? How long will it take you to realize that it was ok that you fell and it doesn’t mean you will just fall every single time.
What have you decided you will never be able to overcome? Do you REALLY believe that if you “failed” until now you will always fail? That’s what Satan wants you to believe, that’s for certain.
Did Peter ever try to walk on the water again I wonder? I do know he learned how to have the faith to do miracles; miracles as amazing as walking on water. So I guess he did try again but in other ways.
If you think you can’t do it; you’ll prove yourself right. But you can do it if the Lord is by your side. Ask Him, invite Him, allow Him to help. Trust and try His way to see if it works better than your way.
Just because you feel alone doesn’t mean you are. Sometimes God’s grace is Him doing it for you. Sometimes His grace is letting you fall so you can get back up and soar. Watch my video about a time God’s grace completely took over or read about it here.
When you are done with that bike ride you go back to Him. You give Him a big hug to thank him for His help and to share in the joy you feel that you did it together!
2 thoughts on “When You Feel Abandoned By God.”
Sometimes we learn to ride the bike- and we still end up getting injured some how some times. Those are the trials that come into our lives unexpectedly. God is still watching, cheering you on- in those moments I believe there’s so much He wants us to learn that we can’t if he protects us from the fall or carries us the whole way through. Instead, he reminds us he’s still here.
Oh sooooo true Kiley!!!