The 4 D’s to de-clutter your time. This actually WILL change your life!

It’s all the craze, “The Life Changing Magic Of Tyding Up.” DON’T WORRY, I’m not trying to Marie Kondo you.  I read her book, it wasn’t life changing because I think you have to actually do what she says after you read the book, and I didn’t get that far.  I did learn that Marie is likely OCD and possibly a bit cute crazy.  I guess thats ok because I might fall into the crazy category as well. If you are completely lost right now just google Marie Kondo and jump on the home organization bandwagon. 

Warning though,  If you tidied up like she suggests you may end up talking to inanimate objects which would land you on the crazy list as well. 

My favorite type of de-cluttering is a bit different than what Marie had in mind, but it is the type of de-cluttering that truly has changed my life. I came up with this system years ago when I was asked to train at a convention.  I was asked to speak on how to juggle the struggle of wanting to develop talents and pursue dreams while not dropping the ball of motherhood.  It was one of those topics I had plenty of experience in, but probably had more to learn about than anyone I was teaching. 

Guess what I learned?! You can develop talents, work towards your unique purpose, and still be a good at the role that is the most important to you.   If you want to do this but you already feel overwhelmed with endless check lists and don’t know how it is possible, I’ve got you covered.  

First, I have to ask you a question.

How productive are you with your time?  If you could put every to-do and responsibility you have swirling around in your brain into a picture, what would it look like?

This…

Or this…

Did you choose the cluttered picture? 

I don’t know about you but when my time looks this cluttered I do the most productive, logical thing. I close the door on it all and do nothing. Don’t ask me why the only thing that makes sense when life is overwhelming is to hide and eat a candy bar, no, Lindor Truffles. Those are the best.

My time was so cluttered a few years ago I just wanted toss all the to-dos in the trash even if it was a to-do I loved.  It was at that point that I finally came up with a way to de-clutter the mess that was my mind. It is a system I do so naturally now I rarely resort to chocolate commas.   I highly recommend you give it a try too!! (Not the chocolate comma, though that is kinda nice sometimes.)

The first step is just like de-cluttering a messy room. I was a slob growing up so when it was time to see the floor again, or I really needed to find my missing pet, I would just gather everything into huge pile and start to sort it all out. That’s what we gotta do first. 

Inventory your time and responsibilities. 

Get out a piece of paper, poster, or maybe you need a roll of butcher paper!  Doesn’t matter, we just need space to get it all down. Start by listing all the roles or areas of your life. If you are creative you can get out the markers and color code things. I organize everything into columns. 

Mother/father, volunteer, church, school, work, daughter, wife/husband, spiritual, physical, mental, ninja warrior. 

Now under those areas list 1. every single way you spend your time, 2. really shouldn’t be spending your time, or 3. WISH you would spend your time.  Get comfy and really brainstorm. Put on some of that brain power Mozart if it helps. We’ve got to dump everything out so it can all get sorted.  Once it is all out you can take a deep breathe and realize how much you expect of yourself and how ridiculous it is. 😉 

Sort using the 4 D’s to de-clutter your time. 

Here’s the fun part!  These are the 4 D’s that each thing on your list are going to be sorted in to.

1. DO

2. DEFER

3. DELEGATE

4. DELETE

Isn’t that catchy?  So easy to remember I have confidence you will actually do it!  Here’s what to be aware of for each category. 

DO

These are the things that are ABSOLUTELY essential to your wellbeing.  They point to joy. They lead to your purpose in life in some way. Yes, cleaning toilets can lead to your purpose in life if it keeps you healthy and gives you peace of mind when they are clean.  If I were you that would fall under “delegate” though.  My kids think I only had them so I would have someone to do the chores so I wouldn’t want to disappoint.   But seriously, be honest with yourself and only sort things into “do” that truly serve you well. 

DEFER

These are those things that would be nice to get done but they just don’t make the cut right now. Some of them have been on your to-do list FOREVER.  Print photo books from the last 15 years of my life. They are things that you know you’ll have to do at some point so they never leave your mind and just add to your stress. They are often disguised as DO’s so don’t let them fool you. 

I love these because as you give yourself permission to defer them to a future day or season in your life it is amazing how much lighter you feel!  You will find that some things you defer end up being deleted. It’s like all that stuff you store in your garage “just in case” then 10 years later you realize you must not need it and toss it in the trash. 

If you really think you will do a “defer” at some point then at least you can get it out of your brain. It will stop nagging you because you’ve reassured it that you will get it out of the garage someday. 

Some of our “defers” will be unrealistic expectations of ourselves that we really WISH we will accomplish someday (we just need time to realize they are unrealistic.) It would be nice to go ahead and “delete” them but if we need to hang on for a little that’s ok. As we get older, we will look at them and think, “I could care less about those things now.”

DELEGATE

Ahhh, my favorite. The whole reason I had five kids. There is sooooo much we do that is none of our business. We think we should do it because “I can do it better” or “I just want it done.”   But just ask yourself this. How much have you missed out on because you were busy doing something else ONLY because you thought you could do it better?  Doing it, not because you loved doing it, not because it helped you develop talents. Wake up people!  Repeat after me, “Sometimes letting someone else do it is the definition of doing it better!!!!!!!”

I’m not saying go hog wild and delegate your whole list. I’ve yet to find someone who could work out for me. I’m saying you may be depriving someone of developing important skills and self-worth because you keep doing what they can do for themselves. There now, see how generous you really are being by simply delegating?  You are welcome.  

DELETE

If you ever watched one of those organizing shows on TV you know what pile was ALWAYS the biggest.  It was the pile that was destined for the trash or donation. And do you remember the same dramatic scene in EVERY episode?  It was when the owner couldn’t handle letting go.  

Some things will be easy no brainers to delete. It is super fun crossing them off so add random things to your list just so you can have more to scribble through if you want. 😉

Organize canned goods alphabetically,  by size, and color. 

BEWARE! There will be plenty that you think you can’t delete but somewhere in the back of your mind you wonder.  You aren’t going to want to let go of them. You are going to try to convince yourself you need them and I am going to free you and say, “get freaking over it!”  These things aren’t making you happy. You keep them on your list not because you actually want them there, but because you worry if you take them off you might not be the imaginary person you are “supposed to” to be.  The more you delete, the more you will open the path to becoming who you really are and reaching the potential the Lord sees in you.

Speaking of which, as you sort the different demands on your time you will have more clarity and direction if you pray a little help from the One who knows you best.

“I say unto you that ye must pray always, and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul.”

2 Nephi 32:9 Book of Mormon

This is what is so cool about this whole process. 

You know the saying “I give you an inch and you take a mile.”  Let’s look at it with a slightly different twist. Anything that is truly important in life actually has a much smaller to-do list to flourish than we realize. It is like God is telling you, “Look! All you have to do is this one important inch and I promise you will succeed.”  What do we do?  We turn that inch into a mile of extra to-dos thinking that doing more is the key. WRONG!

“Being more does not necessarily equate to doing more.”

Michelle D. Craig

When you de-clutter your time everything that ends up on the DO list is the “inch.”   The “small and simple things” that bring about great things. The rest is just fluff so have peace in letting it go.  That beautiful inch is all you have to do to find what you always seem to be searching for, JOY!  Now you have time get really good at what will bring you the best results in your life.   

Added bonus, if you were feeling that you were doing nothing for yourself, you can change that! Now that you’ve deleted, delegated and deferred; you have space to do things that you’ve always felt directed to.

You know what is coming next right?  What’s the rule after you de-clutter and organize a space? Let it slowly get cluttered again until you have to do another major cleaning? That never happens in my house.   We know if we just do a little maintenance every day we don’t have to let that space ever get cluttered again.   You can do the same thing with this system but it is much easier than for real cleaning so that why I like it. 

Every time you write a to-do list, every time you plan your day, week, month… DO, DEFER, DELEGATE, DELETE.   Have a blast with this “life changing magic.”

If you found this post helpful thank you for sharing it!