For any woman who has ever questioned her worth.

I wrote story this as I thought of my nieces and daughter who are in that place in life where all the choices, demands, influences swirling around them can be overwhelming. If they are anything like I was at their age (and even now) they may start to question their worth and wonder if this is all worth it. This is for them and for any woman who has ever wondered, “Am I worth anything? Is this worth it?”  A, K, L, R You are loved. 

Worth It

She stood before two masters, head down, focusing on the dirt that had settled between the lines on her toes. She listened to them discuss what she was worth. It wasn’t much she was sure. She wondered why they both wanted her to serve them. What did she have to offer? Who would she choose to serve? They were both considered powerful and wise. They both had many servants. One seemed more gentle the other more demanding.

The only thing she knew for sure is that she had to go with the one or the other. That’s what everyone in her place had to do.

The decision was made. The price was paid. The gentle master left ahead as she journeyed to her new home alone. She wondered if she should follow him. She could easily go a different direction.

But at least he saw value in her. “How much did he pay?”, she wondered. “Perhaps I should be grateful.” She would go to her new home and begin to pay her debt.

She was put to work right away. Her task was to carry and set large blocks for something that was being built though she couldn’t tell what it was. At least the blocks weren’t too heavy and they were cut from beautiful stone. It was bright white with what looked like flecks of gold. Every time the sunlight hit the stone just right a gold light would dance around her.

She only had to carry one block at a time at first. Though walking back and forth all day to deliver the blocks wasn’t exciting work, she did have one favorite part. After a long hill the path that she had to walk to deliver the blocks went through a lush garden. Every inch was perfectly planned and filled with beauty that seemed to fill her soul and speak of love. Every time she walked through she would try to find a new flower she hadn’t noticed before.

She felt happy for a while but over time she began to feel burdened. She watched the servants who got to work in the garden and wished she could have been able to work in creating something so beautiful. She didn’t even feel that she was very good at the boring task she did have. She was slower and not as strong as many of the other servants. She would often make mistakes dropping her block, setting it wrong, or taking it to the wrong spot.

When she was asked to carry more blocks she didn’t feel she was strong enough. Somehow the one block she was carrying started to feel heavier. How could she carry another? Perhaps this work was too hard. She didn’t even know what she was building and whatever it was she surely wasn’t very good at it.

She stopped noticing the flowers as she walked.

At the end of one colorless day she found a letter waiting for her. It was from the other master. He told her that he had a place for her if she wanted to come serve him instead. He thought she was being worked too hard, and for what? He promised her if she would come to him she would barely have to work. She would be so much happier and would never have to carry a block again. He would care for her better than her current master could.

Would she be better off serving the other master? Could what he was saying be true? She had thought he seemed a bit harsh and demanding. She was confused. She decided for now she would continue her tasks but give as little effort as possible.

After weeks of showing up late, leaving early, and taking breaks in the garden she thought she would start feeling better. She was more miserable than ever before.

One day as she was hiding in the garden where no one could see she started to notice something about several of the other servants. They were smiling. One tripped and fell. She just laughed and jumped up without a moment of discouragement. The one who had the biggest smile was carrying the heaviest load. What could be their secret? What was there to be so happy about?

She had to know. She grabbed her block and stepped in line behind the servant with the heavy load.

“Why are you so happy? What is so great about serving all day; day after day?”

He turned with a moment of surprise flashing across his face. “You must not know the master.”

“What do you mean? Of course I know the master. I am here serving him aren’t I?”

“Have you ever asked him?”

“Asked what?”

“Do you know what the master paid for you?”

It was the one thing she always wanted to know but she didn’t realize she could ask. “Do you know the answer?”

“I could tell you but you may not believe me. You must know for yourself. “

“Well, how do I find out? Please tell me!!”

“Just ask. Have you never heard the knocking on the garden door?”

She had noticed the garden door right after she arrived and had even stopped to stare at it many times. It was stunning. Framed by the beautiful stone she carried each day and a large sun with gold inlay carved into it’s face.

“One time as I was walking by I thought I heard a soft knock.”

“Go, listen for the knock. You will hear it. Don’t be afraid to open the door.”

“What if I don’t hear the knock?”

“Don’t worry, he is always there.”

She didn’t go immediately. She was nervous to see what was behind the door.  Did she really want to know the answer to her question? Would it change her life? What if it made things harder? Maybe she should just put her head down and keep doing what she was doing.

The questions though, became louder. Why did he want her? What was paid for her? It couldn’t have been much. She wasn’t very valuable and definitely replaceable. There were so many servants. Anyone could do what she did. What if he paid nothing for her? If that was true then she didn’t want to know.

Could she be worth nothing?

She walked by the door countless times each day for months and she was surprised that she heard the knock every time. Sometimes she would stop but she couldn’t bring herself to open it.

Finally, she barely had the strength to lift the smallest of blocks. She only moved a few inches with each step.

It was too heavy.

She had to know. Am I worth anything? What am I working for?

She walked to the door and heard the soft knock that had beckoned her. She pulled the door open. It was bright and with each cautious step further into the room the light around her grew.  She felt as if pure water was washing over her.

As she gazed around her the only thing she saw besides light was a book opened on a stand. She walked over and began to read. It was her name at the top of the page. She knew what it was. The record of what had been paid for her. Her eyes locked on her name, afraid for a moment to let them continue down the page.

She blinked back tears and let her fear leave as she read on.

There it was. The answer to her question. Could this be true? She read again. How is this possible? How could she possibly be worth that much? Tears splashed on the page as she read it over and over.

“He paid too much for me! How could someone love me that much? Me?!”

Everything.

“He gave everything for ME. How he must have suffered for me.”

No strength was left. She dropped to her knees and sobbed. How could she ever repay?

Someone stepped in front of her. He reached his hands ready to lift her up. They were still scarred from what he did to pay for her. She put her hands in his and felt his love and strength.

He spoke her name. “There is no amount that is too much to pay for you. You are mine. How long I’ve wanted you to know of your infinite value to me. How often I’ve tried to tell you. How I love you.”

“I’m sorry, I was afraid to open the door. To ask.  I thought maybe it would just be easier to go serve the other master.”

“When I paid the price for you I could see what the other master could not. Now he has seen the work you’ve done for me and who you are becoming. He is so jealous that he wants to have you and make sure you never see who you truly are.  The value I saw in you was so great I knew I would do anything to keep that from happening.  I was willing to pay so you could someday remember and realize the greatness within you.”

“But all I do is carry and stack blocks.”

“Look.”

She turned her head and gasped at the magnificent scene. Stunned by the beauty, she couldn’t look away. She longed to be there.

“What is this?”

“This is what you are helping to build for me. Your work is so valuable. I can not do it without you. If you choose to continue in your work, when you are done, it is yours. I’m giving you all I have.”

Joy like she never felt before radiated through her. She knew her worth. She knew!

“How can I ever repay you?”

“Have joy in becoming the person I see in you. I will show you your part as you serve by my side.”

She didn’t remember leaving the room, but she was standing at the bottom of the hill, two blocks in her hands. She bounded up the hill with strength and energy she never knew she had. A sense of urgency was in her as words from a familiar voice raised up strong in her mind.

“There is so much to be done. We can’t waste any time. I am always here helping you. I will always forgive your mistakes and help turn them into strengths. Just be patient. This work is making you so very strong. If ever tasks feel too hard I will carry you. Please don’t forget.”

From that day on her heart changed. She was the one who worked with a smile now. She went to Him every day to inquire what she could do and she did her best to do what He asked. She was grateful to be able give a little to her Master after all He had done and all He promised.  She would help others realize the joy they could have as well. She would do anything for her Master without question; she was forever indebted to Him.

She finally understood her worth.

Written by Amber Pearce

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