Stuck in a rut? Lessons learned from getting stuck in a real life rut.

I got an email a few weeks ago from a dear strong woman who told me,  “I’m in a slump and slowly trying, step by step to get up and out of this rut.”  Reading that sentence immediately brought an image into my mind from when I was only 6 or 7 years old, standing in the middle of a road with mud up to my knees. 

If I asked one of my kids to tell me what a rut is, I don’t know if they could answer. We even live out in the mountains but most of the roads we drive on are paved. They have never had the opportunity to be stuck in an actual rut. 

I have been stuck in PLENTY of ruts in my life, literally and figuratively.  I grew up in the same mountains I live in now but back then the highway was the only paved road.  If you have a sneaking suspicion that this is turning into one of those, “back in my day I had to walk uphill both ways in the snow” stories, you’d be correct. I see an important lesson to learn from getting out of literal ruts that can help us get out of what ever rut we may be in.

So… 

Back in my day, just kidding, I won’t start that way. But, back in my younger days;) I lived 4 miles down a gravel road, then 2 miles down a dirt road, and another 1/2 mile down something that I’m not sure even qualified as a road.  We got stuck quite a bit, but it would have been even more if my mom wasn’t such a pro at off roading in a 12 passenger van. 

We didn’t need amusement parks. The best ride ever was in the back of that van with no seat belts. It was still back when you wondered what those funny straps were if you could even find them from the cracks in the seats. 

As we turned on to the “road” a 1/2 mile from our house my mom would tell us to hold on because she had to gun it. She could not lose momentum as she tried her best to drive above the ruts. A tire would slip into the deep rut but as long as she keep going and not all 4 tires had fallen victim to the mud there was always hope. We would laugh in delight and purposely NOT hold on so we could bounce around as mom drove as fast as she could turning the wheel back and forth dodging ruts with expert precision. Moms rock. I just had to say that as a side note. 

What does your road look like?

If you looked back and visualized your life as a road, how many ruts would there be?  I doubt anyone sees a smoothly paved road. It sounds nice, but really, it would be pretty boring. Most of us have probably stood before that muddy rut filled road knowing that the only way was forward. Where are you now? Stuck in a rut? Pulling your way out of one?

It doesn’t take away the fear but as we take that first step we remind ourselves how very important it is to maintain some sort of momentum and try our hardest to avoid the ruts. If we slip hopefully our reflexes kick in to adjust our direction to pull ourselves above and forward.  

Some mornings I wake feeling like I haven’t even made it to the road and I’m already sliding into a rut. A big part of me just wants to settle in and lay in the mud. It seems much easier to do that than face the demands of the day. Plus, mud is kinda soft and squishy,  until it starts to dry and gets hard and itchy, then we start to question the wisdom of hanging out in the mud. 

From experience I know if I settle the rut will be even deeper and harder to get out of the next day. We’ve got to find a way to gun it and create that momentum.  Just making that decision to put our feet on the floor at the edge of the bed is a good start. Praying in gratitude, opening scriptures and asking for guidance in planning the day can help gain traction and hope starts to return. The final push comes when we shift thoughts from stresses to how we can bring a little joy to someone else that day.  

And then I climb back into bed and decide to forget it all.  

Just kidding. Well, mostly just kidding.  

These little ruts we try to pull ourselves from each day are one thing but what happens when we get stuck, really stuck, and pulling ourselves out seems never-ending and impossible?

It could look like my dirt road did after a long winter of snow and a spring full of rain. Dirt + water = mud and lots of it! There were so many ruts that the entire road looked like one big rut. Where do you go, how do you redirect when everywhere seems to lead to another rut?  

Getting stuck in a real life rut.

We were driving home late in the evening from a church event. As we turned on to our endless slip n’ slide mud road we didn’t even have a chance to gain momentum and we immediately got stuck.  The boys got out to push and instead ended up taking a mud shower as the wheels did their dirty work. 

I was only 6 or 7 and too young to push but I stayed in the van praying extra hard. We needed to get unstuck for one important reason. I was wearing my brand new shiny black church shoes. I had just thrown away my scuffed up, falling apart dress shoes. I only ever owned two pairs of shoes at a time. One for church and one for school. A brand new pair of shoes were an extra treat and there was NO WAY I was going to ruin them by trekking several miles home in the mud. 

Our neighbors turned the corner and I thought my prayers had been answered. They stopped to help and instead got stuck themselves. My dad opened the heavy sliding door and told me to hop on out. We were going to have to walk home. 

I didn’t even have to fake cry to try to get my way. The tears came easily as I explained that I couldn’t ruin my new shoes. My dad told me I had 2 options. Get out and walk or stay stuck in the van all night.  I searched through the van to see if there was anything else I could possibly wear on my feet. 

The only thing I found was a package of my little brother’s diapers.  I took my shoes off and left them in the van then wrapped a diaper around each foot. Yeah, not the most ideal foot fashion but I swear I’ve seen a model wearing something similar on the runway. I should totally sue.

I thought it was a pretty genius idea until I stepped out of the van and immediately sunk into the deep mud. I lifted my leg and my foot emerged with no diaper. I couldn’t even see where the diaper had gone. The second foot wasn’t any different. 

I still remember that entire walk home because it was one of the most miserable walks of my life.  It was miles of cold deep mud mixed with gravel. Every step started with my feet being jabbed with bits of gravel and ended with me using most my leg strength to pull my foot out of the mud. I felt like I was fighting a mud monster with sharp teeth as he tried to swallow my foot with every step. 

I begged my dad for a piggy back ride. He tried but lasted just a few minutes before I got too heavy.   However short, that was the most glorious piggy back ride. My feet were so cold but not cold enough to be numb so I could still feel the bottoms of my feet screaming at me. I can honestly recall the relief of being carried even though it was just for a bit. 

When we finally walked through the front door, it had never felt so wonderful to be home.

I recently went back to that road to see how long my painful walk actually was. I was surprised it was only 2 1/2 miles. I swear the road used to be at least 10 miles long.  It was weird to see my nemesis was no longer filled with muddy ruts. It was smoothly paved never to have a rut again but it took years of sliding back into the same ruts, grading the road, bringing in gravel to finally get that road solid and smooth, not even a bump.  

How to get out of a rut along the road of life.

Through many a life rut I’ve found the only thing that gets me moving is taking an HONEST look at where I am. I have to stop convincing myself I actually like the mud and I can live with being stuck there.  Isn’t it crazy how the fear of moving forward can keep us in such a miserable place? We somehow convince ourselves it isn’t THAT miserable. Looking at the reality of where we want to be and gaining the confidence that it is somewhere WE CAN BE is a huge first step. 

As we start walking we will most definitely feel pain but when it gets too much the Lord will lift us long enough to give us the strength to be set back on our feet again. When we reach our destination it will be so much sweeter, we will be so much stronger, and so much smarter than if we had been able to kick our feet up and glide down the road without a bump. 

When we look back at the road we were brave enough to take we will be amazed. Over the years with God’s grace and our effort it is finally smooth never to be stuck in that same rut again.  

Where are you now?  Where do you want to be?  The destination is worth whatever the road may look like. Getting stuck may be exactly what you need to access the strength that has been dormant in you.  You will be carried when needed. You will keep moving, pulling yourself above the ruts and the end destination will be the person you never realized you could become.

You will look back and be grateful for the ruts.