I couldn’t identify why I was having such a strong reaction to a song I had heard and sung many times in my life, but I could not deny it.
Ten hours of TV in two days. No, I’m not talking about my life during quarantine. I’m talking about two days that come around twice a year. Days filled with beautiful messages from the Lord’s modern day prophet and apostles. General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I was just about to finish this spiritual marathon and my brain was FRIED. Every talk was running into each other in my memory. My legs had fallen asleep as I did everything to stay awake. One more talk, a song, a closing prayer, then I’d have to wait a few days to be able to study the talks online and see what I missed.
I listened to Pres. Russell M. Nelson share the final message of his first conference as the prophet.
Our message to the world is simple and sincere: we invite all of God’s children on both sides of the veil to come unto their Savior, receive the blessings of the holy temple, have enduring joy, and qualify for eternal life.
I bless you to raise your voice in testimony, as I do now, that we are engaged in the work of Almighty God! Jesus is the Christ.
Russell M. Nelson
The sound of the organ began and I allowed myself a much needed stretch and yawn as I gave myself permission to mentally check out. But as the Tabernacle Choir began to sing, I was unexpectedly overcome. Never in my life had a song touched me with such power. I sat stunned and in awe. Gratitude, courage, love, confidence, truth.
We will not retreat, though our numbers may be few
When compared with the opposite host in view;
But an unseen pow’r will aid me and you
In the glorious cause of truth.Let Us All Press On- Evan Stephens
Fear not, though the enemy deride;
Courage, for the Lord is on our side.
We will heed not what the wicked may say,
But the Lord alone we will obey.
I couldn’t identify why I was having such a strong reaction to a song I had heard and sung many times in my life, but I could not deny it. In the coming weeks I watched and listened to the recording over and over again with all the same feelings bubbling up again. I wanted to know why it felt so powerful to me.
The Answer
Three months later I sat at a desk in the Albuquerque Temple. I answered phone calls, mainly for people wanting to add names to the prayer roll. It wasn’t a busy day so I had time to study my scriptures in between calls. It was the first day of a 30 day scripture study challenge I recently wrote about in Latter-Day Woman Magazine.
I was nervous to open my scriptures because the challenge came with a promise that if I would start my study with a question, I would get an answer every time I opened the scriptures.
Did I have the faith for that? Could I handle the perceived rejection if I didn’t get an answer? Oh, did I have questions!
I had felt paralyzed in my writing and hadn’t shared on my blog for nearly a year. I wouldn’t have cared much, but sharing stories of faith and hope online had been a repeated prompting. I knew it was something the Lord wanted me to do. Problem is, I’m the gal who plans everything, sets all the goals, knows the why’s, maps out the path, wants to know everything from start to finish before I even put on my shoes.
I think, think, AND think some more. My thoughts get bigger and bigger until in my head I’ve accomplished so much, but in reality I’ve accomplished nothing. My eyes get fixed on the overwhelming end goal and I stop seeing the small and simple steps to get there. I convince myself it is too much. No way I can do it.
I had so many ideas in my mind but I only wanted to try the right one, the one that was sure to work. Since I didn’t know which one that was, I did nothing.
Is this sounding familiar to you? Am I the only one that convinces herself she can’t do something before she has even began? Can you see why I felt desperate for direction?
What is my next step? That was the only question I needed an answer to as I took a deep breath and feathered the pages of the scriptures with my thumb.
The scriptures fell open to the exact chapter I had just finished listening to as I pulled into the temple parking lot. Alma 37. My eye fell on one verse and it took on new light to me.
Nevertheless, because those miracles were worked by small means it did show unto them marvelous works. They were slothful, and forgot to exercise their faith and diligence and then those marvelous works ceased, and they did not progress in their journey;
Alma 37:41
Ouch. Could any other scripture describe my state at that time so perfectly? The way to marvelous works is by small everyday means. Fear had choked my faith and diligence.
My next step was to actually take a step! Until I did, I would not progress in my journey.
I was grateful for my kick in the pants though I did question the wisdom of seeking this answer while I was sitting at a desk where everyone could see the tears of gratitude running down my face.
I wiped my cheeks and asked if there was anything else the Lord wanted to tell me. The thought immediately came to open the green hymn book tucked in the corner of the desk. Curiosity aided me as I quickly and randomly opened it. I looked at the tittle of the hymn on the top of the page.
Let Us All Press On.
This time I was oblivious to anyone around that may have been watching me. I sat with my dropped jaw turning into a knowing smile. I got the message. #1 The Lord knew me. #2 I needed to press on and progress in my journey.
Fear not.
Courage.
An unseen power will aid me and you.
If we do what’s right we have no need to fear,
For the Lord, our helper, will ever be near;
In the days of trial his Saints he will cheer,
And prosper the cause of truth.”
Where are you in your journey? Are you pressing on or do you feel like you are sliding down a slope you’ve been trying forever to climb? Have all the curve balls we’ve gotten these last few months paralyzed you?
You have a individual work to do, be it in the world, in your community, in your home, or in yourself. Don’t fear. The Lord knows. Your job is to take a step. The Lord will lift and move you forward as you take that step magnifying you the way only He can.
